holisticrendezvous

integrating nutrition, fitness, sprituality, conscious living, and a little sass

How to Find True Love

Anyone can slay a dragon, he told me, but try waking up every morning and loving the world all over again. That’s what takes a real hero. – Brian Andreas

Perhaps it is our age, but we have been putting a lot of thought into the idea of love and relationships recently. We cannot help but wonder whether each of us really has a soul mate out there who we are destined to encounter, marry, and proceed to live with happily ever after. While we find this concept very romantic and comforting, we also find it very limiting. There are over 7 billion people in this world, with a population growth rate of about 1.2 percent annually…and yet many people struggle to make a relationship work with one person, while also harboring an innate fear of being alone. We would like to take some time to evaluate how true love is perceived within our society, as well as to discuss our own thoughts on what this idea means to us.

“The hearts not like a box that gets filled up. It expands in size the more you love. “ – Her

We would like to begin by saying that we do believe in soul mates. However, who these individuals are, how many of them exist, and what role they play within your life, is what we think varies between people and relationships. There are cases of people meeting and dating as teenagers, and being together forever. We have heard of situations where people date, separate, and then reunite. Then, we have all heard stories about people meeting and immediately knowing they were meant to be together. At the same time, we can all also recognize that the divorce rate continues to increase. We believe that finding true love, and a successful relationship, is directly related to your ability to accept others completely for who they are. True love eliminates any potential for a hierarchy between people, and all parties involved should be complemented and supported. We have seen that there is a pressure that begins to weigh down on each of us, typically after we graduate college or transition into greater independence, which nudges us to settle down, form stable relationships, and start a family. While this lifestyle is beneficial and very fitting for some, we believe that this way of life can be unhealthy for others, and can lead to dissatisfying, unequal, and unfulfilling relationships.

We believe that what should be learned is the ability to love the world as a whole, and be more accepting and tolerant of others. Once you learn to love people for who they are and what makes them unique, even if you do not agree with their thoughts or decisions, you will find it difficult to not discover some level of “love” for everyone you meet. We do not mean love in the sense that you will want to form a romantic relationship with every person you encounter from this moment on, but that you will have a greater appreciation for all of the differences between people and how beautifully dynamic the world is. In practicing your ability to find some form of love and acceptance for all of the people with whom you coexist, particularly those with whom you directly interact, you will begin to find that this idea becomes easier and more realistic each day.

We have never had a first conversation with anyone that we have regretted. Even if our views completely conflicted with theirs, and the level of discrepancy was deep enough that we would not be able to form any kind of companionship with that person, we were still happy and grateful for our time hearing a different perspective. It is easy to shut out beliefs and opinions that do not match our own, because they yield feelings of uncertainty and lack of understanding that are unappealing and unsettling. However, value systems and beliefs that are not similar to your own should not be ignored, or avoided, because you have to acknowledge that they exist within our social ecosystem. In realizing this, you will also see that these views will inevitably impact you at some point. In cases like these, try to promote discussion, so that you can educate these people on another perspective, and promote open-mindedness within them as well. Put this idea into the terms of of “paying it forward”, but with love and tolerance. Pay love forward, and you will inspire others to do the same.

Regardless of how receptive people seem, there is no doubt that you are influencing every person that you meet, because every encounter is very deliberate and purposeful. In making the most out of your interactions, and in being open to more of them, you will undoubtedly be getting closer to finding someone, or people, with whom you are legitimately compatible. The amazing thing is that you will have learned more about yourself through your discussions with others along the way, and will be more ready to accept and reciprocate love as a result.

photo (19)In the end, we believe that finding true love is dependent on your ability to be open to others, and to a multitude of interactions. This must be done without judgment, and with excitement and gratitude to have the opportunity to hear and learn about the variety of ways each of our lives are guided. We also believe that time should not be seen as constraining, and should not dictate how long you spend discovering new people, while also discovering yourself. True love comes with patience. There is no specific time that any of us need to be ready to be with one person, or any age that we need to rush into a serious relationship and “start our lives”. We each need time to establish the kind of life that we want to live for ourselves before we can expect to share that experience with another individual.

How do you define true love? How do you think it is found? We would love to get a good discussion going, so comment below 🙂

Thank you for reading, and we hope you have a love-filled week!


Love and Light, HR

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